What is the deal with the G-spot? Over the years (and, frankly decades) there have been a lot conflicting ideas about what a G-spot actually is—or if it even exists. As a sex coach and educator, I’m constantly asked about the G-spot, having G-spot orgasms, and how to find the G-spot in the first place. My inbox is positively overflowing with these questions.
So let’s answer them, shall we? Here is everything you need to know about the G-spot. Join me as we unravel some of the most common myths and misconceptions.
Is the G-spot real?
If you’re looking for information about the G-spot online, you’re likely to encounter one of two messages, at opposite ends of the spectrum. They look something like this: X Tips to Find Your G-Spot and Experience G-Spot Orgasms Forever and Ever, or, conversely, The G-Spot Is a Myth!!!
To be perfectly clear: The G-spot definitely is real. Why is there so much controversy? It is much more complicated than we might expect. Like, for one thing, it isn’t actually a spot.
There’s no single anatomical structure that is the G-spot. It was first described in the 1950s by a German gynecologist named Ernst Gräfenberg. In 1982, a group of sex researchers published a book in which they hypothesized that the area Gräfenberg discovered comprised various tissues, glands, and nerves. They called it the Gräfenberg spot, G-spot, for short—a misnomer that really stuck.
Where is the G-Spot?
While many theories abound about the G-spot, its role in pleasure, and whether or not it is a myth, it is widely understood by medical professionals and sexuality experts to be a part of the urethral-clitoral complex. The clitoris is more than the small bud you see at the top of the vulva. The clitoris extends inside the body, up to 5 inches, well into the labia and abdomen. The G-spot is part of the clitoris—the back end of the internal structure of the clitoris, that is—located behind the pubic bone. It is a walnut-textured patch surrounding the urethral sponge and canal. (It can expand to a wider area, depending on a woman’s body.)
How to find the G-spot.
In its location at the apex of the clitoris, the G-spot can only be reached internally, through the vaginal opening. You cannot just put something inside of the vagina and hit the G-spot. It is way up there at a curve—not in easy reach of the penis. You usually need your (or your partner’s) fingers in a curved position facing front to reach the G-spot, Or you can use a G-spot toy designed for this specific purpose purpose.
As the G-spot isn’t easily reached during P-in-the-V sex, it doesn’t always play a part in intercourse—though it’s definitely possible. With rear-entry penetration—in a position like doggy-style or reverse-cowgirl—you’re more likely to hit it.
What is a G-spot orgasm—and can I have one?
Pinpointed, concentrated stimulation of the G-spot area may be desirable and pleasure-inducing for some people. The area contains many ducts and glands, including the Skene’s gland, which plays a crucial part in “squirting,” or female ejaculation, a hotly debated, poorly understood topic in its own right. Penetrative intercourse usually doesn’t hit the G-spot, as I mentioned before, so you will want to use your fingers and/or a toy to explore what kind of pressure feels good to you.
Its capacity to offer sexual pleasure varies from person to person. Some women enjoy internal G-spot stimulation during sexual play, some do not. Some people enjoy more widespread stimulation of the whole area behind the pubic bone—and you might be into something else entirely. Don’t get hung up on making a G-spot orgasm happen: Most women require external stimulation of the glans clitoris (the part you can see) to experience orgasm—or at least to get the most out of one.
Listen, G-spot orgasms are not the Grand Poobah of orgasmic pleasure.
One of the (many, many) things that leaves sexuality educators and professionals extremely perturbed is the false idea that G-spot, or vaginal, orgasms are not only possible for everyone, but that they are somehow the “preferred” type of orgasm.
We’ve been wrongly pushed towards a myth of the “higher quality” of vaginal orgasm since the days of Freud. When the G-spot was brought into the sexual fold in the 1950s (and then again in the 1970s/1980s), the orgasm hierarchy was reaffirmed.
The truth is, every orgasm is valid and no one type is better than another. If you prefer internal stimulation alone, external stimulation alone, or a combination of both internal and external pleasure, it doesn’t matter. And, by the way, orgasms are not the be all and end all of sex. If you are enjoying a sexual experience and it feels pleasurable to you, that is all the matters. However you like to be touched is normal, healthy, and fabulous.